When your pet passes away, there's a huge void to fill. The greeting at the door, the jaunty little waddle around the house, and snuggles when you need them most... it's a lot for a heart to take. In this blog, we’ll explore a topic that no pet owner wants to think about, but is so important: how to cope after the loss of a pet.

Coping with the loss of a pet

As one would imagine, our emergency veterinary staff at VEG ER for Pets takes losses very seriously. We pride ourselves on being highly trained and ready 24 hours a day to help people and their pets when they need it most. And if a patient’s quality of life cannot be maintained or the pet is beyond expert medical intervention, we need to hold a hard conversation with the pet parent. In our role, sometimes the most meaningful help we can offer is in the form of ensuring a compassionate and calm passing for the pet.

A pet’s passing may be expected, from a long-term illness for example, or it may be unexpected. No matter how you lose a pet, the emotional turmoil understandably follows.

Emotions after losing a pet

Every pet parent’s grief process is unique; a pet owner might lean on their family, friends, or others who can lend emotional support after the loss of their pet, while someone else may simply want to be alone in their thoughts. There is no right or wrong way to grieve your pet.

Common emotions and symptoms associated with grief after the loss of a pet

No doubt, grieving comes with all the feels and it is a process to endure. Grief may show up with deep emotions and unexpected signs.

• Anger, frustration

• Anxiety, fear, loss of focus

• Changes in appetite, digestive issues

• Crying, depression, sadness

• Fatigue, exhaustion

• Feeling lost or isolated

• Headaches, aches and pains

• Loss of sleep

Vet professionals at VEG ER for Pets work around the clock at every hospital location. If you need advice regarding what to do after the loss of a pet, don't hesitate to call us.

Survivor's guilt happens to pet owners, too

Some people feel guilty after the death of a pet. This is a common emotion that needs to be recognized while working on healing. Survivor’s guilt is complex, but try to engage with your thoughts, rather than suppress your feelings.

A common thought may be:

What could I have done differently to save my pet?

Here’s the thing, as humans, we make life decisions all the time. But, rarely do we make decisions around death and dying. It’s in the aftermath that we start to think about the “what ifs.”

If your pet died with little to no warning, you might question all the things that led up to the passing. It’s normal to wonder if there’s some way you could have influenced your pet’s outcome. Keep in mind that all may have been the same regardless of your actions, and no matter how many scenarios you toss around, the answer is something that takes time to accept: it was your pet’s time.

When euthanasia is the humane option, the decision is ultimately made by you, the pet owner, which carries a heavy emotional load. As difficult as it is, it's important to recognize that the decision to euthanize was likely the most compassionate thing you could have done for your pet. Don’t worry if this isn’t your first thought; it takes a while to get to that headspace.

Grief counseling for pet loss

No shame in this game, when you cannot move forward and find it difficult to even think about enjoying life again, there are support systems available to you.

1. Pet grief counselors - You’re in pain, you’re feeling sorrow, and there are skilled counselors to help you through this. They cannot bring your loved one back, but they can help you deal with the reality that all living things must pass, and help you look toward the future with hope.

2. 24-hour pet grief hotlines - Thoughts of sorrow can keep us up at night. That’s why there are hotlines open day and night to help manage grief. This may be an easier option for you than a scheduled appointment.

3. Support groups for pet loss - Gathering with other pet owners who are going through the same hardship may bring solace. Sharing stories about your pets can lead to a collective healing. Crying and even finding time to smile as you relay memories about your pet, and listen to others do the same, is all part of a healthy grieving.

Pet grief resources

There are many resources to help you cope with the loss of your pet. While we don't specifically endorse any grief organization, we want to help by providing a few for consideration. The choice of reaching out for additional guidance is entirely up to you.

Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement: This site offers membership options for the type of support you may need, including an online chat space, a memorial page, and ways to support others.

Letters to Pushkin: This is a unique site where pet parents can post personal letters to their beloved pet along with pictures.

Pet Parent Grief Support: Blog articles that cover various topics concerning a pet parent's grief process.

Two Hearts Pet Loss Center: Resources for coping with pet loss for those in the veterinary industry as well as pet parents not in the vet industry.

A compassionate team of vet professionals by your side

Though VEG ERs have an open-concept design, each of our veterinary hospitals have at least one dedicated quiet room for when the time comes for euthanasia. We’ve found that most clients in our vet clinic opt to stay with their pet throughout their beloved's passing. At VEG, pet parents are welcome to take as much time as they need with their pet afterwards.

Our compassionate vet staff can assist owners on aftercare plans for their deceased pet. VEG partners with Gateway Services, who offer private and communal cremation services.

We hope this article helps pet owners who are grieving or preparing for the inevitable.

Remember to give yourself grace.

Go through your emotions unashamed.

Celebrate your pet’s memory.

Seek help if you need.